Jesus Passes the Waterproof Test
Jesus and Jim
“Every morning, Jim Stevens of Jonesborough goes out to his vehicle and sees what appears to be the face of Jesus in the condensation on the driver’s side window. When Mr Stevens first saw the image, he expected it to evaporate that day and that would be the end of it. But the next day, there it was, and it has been every day for two weeks. Locals have been amazed by the phenomenon, and Stevens says that he won’t be washing the window for while. He’d better not roll it down either.”
And so runs the news blurb. Are we really believing this garbage? Frankly this image looks more like the Zig-Zag man to me, but maybe that’s just because I don’t have quite the same spiritual leanings as many others in the media. No paradolia here either. This one looks professionally drawn. Something waxy or one of dozens of acrylic copolymer emulsions like Kiwi Camp Dry Beeswax Waterproofer would literally “work wonders.” I guarantee a brush on product like Nikwax Nubuck & Suede Waterproofing has no supernal qualities to it. It’s pure science folks.
Do I sound like a cynic instaed of a skeptic? I can’t help it. This is just too much crap for me to even begin to take seriously. I can’t even believe I’m writing about it. But someone has to. The world’s gone mad.
Jim looks like an average guy upon first glance. But look again at his eyes. One eye seems to be focused on the image while the other is ever so slightly Marty- Feldmanishly looking at the camera. He’s duplicitous and Janus-faced I’d say. I’ve seen more devotional poses on Colonel Sanders. I wonder if any of the news people took any time to look at Jim’s background or job status before hopping on the Jesus on a bun bandwagon and pitching this woo? I doubt it.
Jim says he’s not going to wash his truck for awhile. I’ll bet he isn’t. Not until he gets a book deal, film offer of his life story or at least an interview with Barbara Walters. He also says he’s not particularly religious too. He may not be, but I’ll bet there’s a wife, son or daughter lurking around the garage who does more than have bake sales every Sunday. I’ll take any odds on that one.
This is how you do it folks. This is the modern version of the side-show wonders with the added benefit of having a religious slant to it. With the holidays coming, Jesus should be turning up all over the place. Why isn’t it ever Buddha or Mohammad that appears? Oh, …right, I remember. It’s a sacrilege for mere mortals to attempt to draw or represent Mohammad in any way. I guess it has to be lines from the Koran etched onto skin like that baby in Russia (see Phil’s post) to be accpetable to that group. Probably the Buddhists don’t care and figure they don’t need the publicity. That’s not their style.
The various articles I read had very little detail, but one went on like this:
“It was two weeks ago that an image, resembling the face of Jesus, made its first appearance on the window. The Jonesborough man, who said he has a “bum shoulder,” was having friends from Rogersville, Tenn., help move some items. He entered his truck from the passenger’s side to put his drink inside the vehicle. He said when he went around the truck to the driver’s side, the image was there. Initially, Stevens said he figured the image would go away and that would be the end of it.”
I don’t know what having a “bum shoulder” has to do with it, but being Tennessee and all, I’ll wager that the “drink” in question was good ol’ Kentucky rye. I could be wrong and excuse me for sounding skeptical. Logically, if you have a spare grease rag around the trailer park, wiping the window down with a little of that adult beverage would likey do the trick – presto: clean window! That would indeed “be the end of it.” But no, there’s something inside of even the most un-religious people that just won’t allow them to pass up the opportunity to make a buck. I’m sure by now, there’s a at least a photographer nearby who is willing to take your picture next to the image, bottled water at three times its worth, a souvenir stand or baked goods for sale. Of course, the respectful news stations in the area won’t spotlight that little situation. That might be considered poor taste.
So, if I went down there to Joneborough with a roll of paper towels and some window cleaner in hand, would I be allowed to try my luck at cleaning that sacred Izuzu truck window? If this was truly a sign from above, wouldn’t I be struck down by lightning for such blasphemy? Would I be arrested for inciting a riot? Would the image stubbornly re-appear over and over ala The Twilight Zone? Or would there not be even the slightest chance of me getting near this miracle of miracles? I’m guessing that little front yard shrine in Tennessee is more protected right now than Fort Knox. If I even approached that window with rag in hand I would be taking liberties with something sacred – and profitable too. I can already hear the shouts of “Devil Worshipper!” or “Anti-Christ!” that would be hurled my way by the locals. If the believers are right and I’m wrong, my hands would burn with an unholy fire wouldn’t they Jim? I can’t wait to see that. Maybe I would get on Pat Robertson or even, …Larry King?
Why don’t we ever see this sort of “Reality Television?”
I say: let’s put it to the test! Send me down south and let’s have it out: The forces of science against the forces of faith. What an event THAT would be. Talk about Guerrilla Skepticism! If I didn’t get lynched or dragged behind another truck until my head fell off, I would certainly draw as much attention to the cause of rational thinking as Jim and his Izuzu. I’m willing to travel as long as I can get police protection. Hey Larry. Hey Anderson. Hey Oprah! Will you step up and pay for my plane ticket?
Hey Skeptologists… where are you?
Could’ve been a kid’s prank.
Where do we draw the line between pareidolia and hoax?
That’s a valid question, for which, I’m uncertain what the correct answer should be.
This instance definitely breaches the borders of hoax.
I think it is Jesus. He is trying to communicate with us. He is saying that cash for clunkers was a bad idea, but should have done away with this car. He wants this car to join him in Hell.
Really? Jesus burning in Hell doesn’t raise an eyebrow? Okay…
I guess I need to find bigger sticks to poke people with.
Ho ho ho, because if the car joins Jesus in Hell, it means Jesus is burning in Hell. Hoooohh.
Well I was actually alluding to the fact that in Judaism there is no Hell so in order for Jesus to be in Hell he would have to have been genuine, and if he was genuine then obviously he wouldn’t be in Hell. The comment was meant to be funny by virtue of that paradox (as well as the pure outrageousness of the claim).
I do appreciate the Family Guy reference though, I got a good laugh out of that.
Awesome Article! I am constantly amazed at what people will believe and what they think others will fall for.
So are humans growing smarter?
I highly recommend the film “Screen Door Jesus” if you haven’t seen it!
Strange that it appears as the modern North American image of Jesus rather than the old world Jewish Jesus that us to appear with all of the literature. I’m surprised there wasn’t some product placement included. After being away for a couple thousand years you would think Jesus would enjoy a Coke!
A point not often enough made, I think, is that the only reason why Jesus is depicted with a certain characteristic face and hairstyle is because some influential medieval painter chose to portray him that way. Presumably long hair was itself fashionable at the point in history when painting portraits of Jesus was becoming fashionable, too.
There are some obvious “outs” available to the true believer (this is mysticism rather than causality, after all), but I can’t remember the last time that one of them was challenged on this point.
It is defacing private property if you WASH someone’s windows?
Ho ho ho, because you would be taking the face off of the window. Hoooohh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoaofHh7bp4
I’ve seen more devotional poses on Colonel Sanders.
rain-x + a stencil = after-water appearance on glass of your choice.
hmmm – i wonder if chicken grease is akin to rain-x? might save some of us in the rain belt a bit of money…
i think he needs to hike his pants up higher. jesus told me so.
I’m with completely Mr. Edward, utter crap.
There is obviously not a scintilla of journalism left anywhere.
Sheesh.
Guerrilla skepticism; careful, that almost appears zealous, borderline “religious” fanaticism.
Ha! I blogged about this before Mark! And I mocked the journalism more than the idiot with the shellac or whatever on his window.
http://blog.nitpicking.com/2009/11/bad-journalism-meets-stupidity.html
Funny, if not taken seriously, i.e. where’s the next place/location where a perhaps Jesus-look-alike and/or other (usually Christian)religious-type pic or writing (tho now it appears that Islam has entered the competition) something, will appear? What’s a good spot? Maybe one could start a lottery…or a `drawing’…???
This latest story is just stupid, one would think even for `normal’ religious folk to swallow. How much more of this ridiculous kind of stuff can even gullible people actually believe?
When one stops sniggering, there’s only cynicism left.
My god. Can people get any stupider? This is beyond gullible! And exactly the reason I’ve become more cynical over the years instead of less. Its true- why do people assume that Jesus, if he ever existed, looked like this? Its a bloke with long hair… well, that pins it down then. Id better believe. Is there a metaphysical way to reach in and shake these people out of their miasma of religious fuggery?
It’s actually Kenny Loggins.
Ha-ha! Let us mock the man for his foolish religious belief. Let us celebrate how much cleverer and smarter we are. Then let us mock him again, because we are cleverer and smarter.
I honestly don’t see anything here that warrants skepticism. Man says he’s got a picture of Jesus on his truck, and by God he’s got a picture of Jesus there.
But making fun of old men for believing in God is always good for a laugh, I guess.
Yes, that is what we are doing; mocking an old man. I’m not entirely sure what being old or being a man has to do with anything, but whatever.
I should point out though that I didn’t call the news to come and report on his baloney and I should point out that this old man is spreading superstition and BS. Do you think that God is communicating with this world through condensation? I think an outline and some RainX is a little more likely which would mean that either the press and the guy are both being credulous, or this old man is running a scam. I think it is the former rather than the latter which is why it is being talked about on a website called Skeptic.
What is the purpose of running a news story on this nonsense, really? I don’t think anybody thinks anything of it other than, “huh, that’s different.” Except of course, for the people who do think that there is more to it which is what we are objecting to. People will really believe that this condensation imprint is a message from God and they will based future actions and beliefs on that nonsense. So I think you know we are not just picking on an old man here and you are attempting to tell us to shut up rather than tell us that we are wrong. Do you think it is inspired by God? If yes, give us the reasons. If not, joins us in a good laugh.
I think the tone of this article and some subsequent comments is almost completely cynical and has no place in a blog about skepticism. You will not catch me for one minute saying that I think this story is news-worthy or that it is remotely plausible that “god” drew Jesus’ face in magical rain-resistant jelly on this guys car, but I don’t think that this justifies unfounded attacks on the man’s character and motivations in the least. You don’t have to make stuff up to ridicule the guy, just lay the presented facts out and tear them to shreds. Let them make fools of themselves. As for the money that this is generating; can you really complain when people in the country make millions off of throwing, catching, and running with inflated leather skins? It’s just entertainment, and if some people like to spend money to see some ridiculous and contrived image, who are we to force them to stop. Anyone who is seriously questioning their beliefs are going to be turned completely off by this kind of behavior. I know I was for a while…
Sir, you are choosing to attack an argument I did not make. I never said a single word about the employment of force and I think you are well aware of that fact. If not, re-read my words. I never said this man’s rights were wrong, I am saying that this man’s wrongs are not right. He has every right to have a Jesus image in his windshield and believe that he should not wipe it off (even though the Bible says “Does not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame to him?” – Corinthians 11:14), AND, AND, I have every right to mock him for it and tell people to not buy his snake oil (again, if he is selling snake oil because in my previous post I make clear that I do not assume he is responsible for the image).
This website is attempting to spread skepticism. You do not have to bow at the feet of religion while being skeptical, you do not have to employ relativism and say that all behaviors are equal while being skeptical, and you can even be a jerk while being skeptical, but the important thing is to be skeptical.
P.S. Forgive me if I am not entirely convinced of your motives for questioning the “tone” of skepticism. As much as I believe you are genuinely concerned about the progress being made by skeptics and atheists in convincing the credulous that condensation in windows is not divinely inspired and that religion is garbage, I am going to go ahead and be skeptical of your motives. In the same way that I don’t think Republicans should take advice from Democrats suggesting they need to become more like Democrats in order to win elections I am not going to take your advice on how to discredit woo-woo nonsense and religion because I just don’t think you have my best interests in mind or at heart.
Of course I’m quite certain that hi-jinx of some kind (whether or not financially incented) is “behind” the condensation. And it is fun in a way to watch the machinations of those who simply must “believe” — as they circle about and either marvel at or profit from these kinds of phenomena.
Personally, though, I tire of mocking tones and chortling from the media and blogo-sphere …
JMO
Well I don’t tire of mocking after debunking, I tire of mocking be used as though it WERE debunking.
I agree with you there, Tim. Debunking is not simply shouting disagreement or ridicule.
This article was not particularly funny, and not particularly well-done in terms of it’s debunking.
Essentially the article was a snark-vehicle … not wholly bad or offensive, just not all that interesting, either.
yawn
This was my first glimpse of this site — I’ll check in periodically and will hopefully find more sturdy material?
Finally, definitive proof of Jesus! I was pretty convinced about Islam after that baby with Koran verses story, but now I see that the Christian God is the one true deity. Li li li li li li li li die infidel dogs!
Why is it always condensation on a window or a burnt patch on a piece of toast. Just too easy. Now, if a long-haired, bearded head appeared overnight in granite next to the presidents on Mt. Rushmore it might cause us doubters to question our convictions. Somehow, I don’t think we need to worry. Then again, if such happened, it might just be a tribute to Kenny Loggins by a technologically advanced race of space aliens who just happened to be in the neighborhood listening to our airwaves.
For me it would take someone I know who has a missing leg or arm to regrow one overnight. But then again you might be right it could have been aliens…or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or maybe something I ate.
The part that bothers me about the article is that Jim Stevens is pretty much being cast as the instigator of the hoax. Could just as likely be a neighbour (or even a stranger just passing through) who felt like making somebody’s life just a little surreal. After all, if someone was daft enough to think that their car had developed the ability to communicate its desire for cleanliness, we wouldn’t necessarily conclude it was they who had scrawled “WASH ME” in the dirt on its window.
Quiverfull “Well, if you ever wondered if your vagina had a divine purpose, wonder no more.” —> http://www.feministing.com/archives/006052.html
Wow what a nice family photo!
Personally I don’t have a problem with parents that choose to have big families like this. I’m sure they are loved and totally understand what they are getting into. The older children end up taking on most of the burden of raising their siblings. Usually one older child bonds to a younger one and they become “little parents”. I have a Christian customer that has 9 children, 4 are adopted from other countries, and they seem to be a loving healthy family. I totally respect her.
The comments on the purpose for having so many babies is absurb
and untrue. We usually have a reason why we want to have children, and that is their right to do so.
Not sure what all this had to do with Mark’s blog though. Very interesting.
Looks like a bloke with a beard.
So what?
Why should it be Jesus? Why not Ezekiel? Or Fred Smith?